Things Grown Women Say*

First you’re dating. Then you have kids and want to kill yourself. I know because it happened to me.

And then I threw up in my hair.

I told him, “I think you have Asberger’s Syndrome.” And he said, “I think you just push men away.”

I call them “Dicks in sweaters.” My start-up co-workers.

I just keep eating, hoping to feel better.

“Do you have to go potty?”

Pills pills pills pills pills.

But instead I married him.

*Overhead. Maybe I said some of them.

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